


Chasing Justice

by CalsBeanieProtection



Series: Justice and Love [2]
Category: Ballum, EastEnders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24705730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalsBeanieProtection/pseuds/CalsBeanieProtection
Summary: I decided to write a little add on of Bens murder and went with Callum seeking out justice for it
Relationships: Ballum - Relationship, Ben x Callum - Relationship
Series: Justice and Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786099
Comments: 12
Kudos: 30





	1. Warehouse

**Author's Note:**

> “Callum?”
> 
> “Yeah?”
> 
> “You save so many people, you’re always there for everyone, but who’s there for you?”

Sometimes grief takes us to places we’ve never been, darkest pits we can’t seem to claw our way out of. It can sometimes come in waves, ones so strong you feel like you’re drowning. At the start they can be taller than a tsunami, crashing upon you relentlessly, showing little signs of mercy, no chances given to catch your breath. Sometimes it can be calm, and you finally start to feel alright, like you can manage it, but it’ll come right back at you and wipe you out to sea, an overwhelming sense of nothingness washing upon you. 

It’s been nearly a year without Ben, but for Callum, it feels like yesterday. He feels the crushing pain within him as it grips him hard, digging its claws in deep and holding hard. It’s been nearly a year since his world crashed down upon him, all his walls collapsing and burying him deep within the rubble. He doesn’t remember what normal feels like anymore, his days blending into one, his nights marred by nightmares. He wakes most nights covered in sweat, being jolted from his sleep, his images a mixture of army and scenarios he’d made of Bens murder. Being on the force he ensured he was placed on the investigation, wanting justice for his boyfriend and stopping at nothing to get it. 

Walford Police Station has been alive with crime the past few months, nobody paying much mind to the Ben Mitchell case anymore. Nobody except Callum. On the odd occasion Jack will ask how he’s getting on, whether there’s been any new leads or whether or not he’s ready to move onto a new case. Callum always gives him the same pointed stare, and Jack knows immediately he’s fighting a loosing battle. Everyone knows who killed Ben, but Danny Hardcastle was smart, didn’t leave a trace. Phil wouldn’t speak either, even if it meant justice for his own son. He’d avoided Callum since the funeral, stayed clear to avoid the wrath of the grieving man, tried to sell the house to move out of Walford, but Sharon didn’t want to leave. She was happy in The Vic, and liked having the old house as a backup, plus Lola and Lexi lived there now with Jay and she didn’t feel comfortable chucking them out. Callum avoided the pub as much as possible, choosing to spend his time in The Albert with Kathy and Tina. Granted this meant he didn’t see many people anymore, but that didn’t bother him. All he ever got was looks of sorrow, sympathy and the odd comments about how much he must be missing Ben. 

“Callum?” Jack stepped into his office, a small knock coming through the room. Taking a coffee out of its holder, he placed it directly in front of Callum, who smiled tightly and gave a small nod. 

“Thanks Jack,” Callum replied, avoiding all eye contact with his boss and work colleague. 

Jack crossed the room, looking at the wall behind Callum where numerous pictures were assorted across a large board, sticky notes of every colour dotted throughout, different words and sentences written on them. His eyes rested on the photo of Ben, taken at the warehouse and Jack felt slightly nauseous. He hadn’t prepared to see the photo, and looking at Callum he wasn’t sure he ever would have been. 

“Any new leads?” He asks, genuine interest seeping through his sentence. 

“No. I’m gonna go to the warehouse today, see if the forensics missed anything. It’s still shut off right?”

Jack regards Callum for a minute before replying, “yes, it’s still closed with police tape and the boulders blocking the road. Is this wise Callum? You’ve never been to the warehouse before.”

“I need to do it. For me.”

Jack nods, “Maybe take Constable Amy with you? She’s got a good eye that one.” 

Callum nods his agreement, a smile ebbing it’s way onto his face at the mention of the only person in the establishment who’s been as enthusiastic at getting justice as he has. 

Jack smiles back, before stating he better be getting back to his own work and heading out, stopping for a second to clasp a hand to Callum’s shoulder. 

Callum looks at the wall in front of him, before looking down at the photo that sits proudly on his desk, Ben smiling as he looks into Callum’s eyes, arms resting on the lapels of his jacket, while Callum reciprocates the smile. It was taken by Lola,  _for memories_ ,  she’d say and now Callum was beyond glad she did. 

“I’ll get that justice for you, if it’s the last thing I do Ben. I promise,” he whispers to nobody but himself. Heading out he stops by Constable Amy Phoenix’s office, asking her if she’d like to accompany him to the warehouse, laughing slightly at how quickly she is out of her seat and by his side. 

Reaching the warehouse Callum takes a deep breath, nerves kicking in once more. He always feels it whenever he’s here, knowing what happened to the love of his life merely meters away. Amy picks up on it as she rests a hand gently on his arm. 

“It’s okay to feel Callum,” she says gently. 

“I know, I’m not scared to feel. I’m scared to remember. I’m gonna walk in here and everything’s just gonna come flooding back isn’t it? I wasn’t there when he died Ams. I got here when they’d taken his body away and brought out the stuff covered in blood. I didn’t even know who’s blood it was they were dealing with until Jack turned up that night, I wasn’t even allowed inside, I didn’t get why,” Callum’s lower lip trembles slightly, causing him to take it between his teeth and bite down to prevent the tears escaping. 

“When we started working on the force, I vividly remember you telling me what a twat Ben had been before your assessment,” Callum laughs at the statement, remembering very well exactly how his boyfriend had been a twat. 

Looking out at the warehouse, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the ring on his finger. His gift from Ben. 

“Let’s go get him that justice ey?” Amy says, starting to get out of the car, Callum following behind slowly. 

They spend a while checking every room within the warehouse, leaving no stone unturned before they reach the room Callum had been avoiding. Most of the furniture was gone, forensics swabbing it down, but there was still a few pieces left, a chair, table and some cabinet of sorts. Callum took a deep, shaky breath as he imagined multiple scenarios in his head. He doesn’t know what happened, only that Ben was fatally shot. He wonders if he was in pain, or whether or not it was a quick death for him. Did he think of him?Lexi? If Callum could see him would he see the fear on his face? 

“Callum take a look at this!” Amy’s voice broke him from his train of thoughts. Looking over at her, hope formed on his features as she tried to move the cabinets. 

“What is it?”

“There’s a fake backing on the cabinet, it’s falling off. Help me move it.” 

Callum hurried over to her, helping her push out the cabinet so that it was fully away from the wall. Callum could see a corner wearing away at the bottom, revealing a small, concealed area. He steps in front and opens the door to the cabinet, being met with emptiness, no sign of the backing breaking away. Taking another deep breath Callum rounds back to where Amy stands, he slowly peels it back. 

Sitting there is a gun, the metal shining under the glow of his torch, some papers and a phone. The breath Callum had been holding us released and he feels a tear slip down. 

Amy stands beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to provide the comfort he needs. 

“This could be it,” he whispers, “this could be what we’ve been looking for Ams, the lead we needed.” 

She looks down at him, smiling wide as she sees the sheer hope in his eyes. “I hope so, Cal. I really hope so.” 

Sitting on the sofa, Lexi bounds over to him and sits herself directly on his lap. The only light coming from the lamp beside him shines on her face illuminating her features so beautifully. 

“How was your day? I missed you,” she says and she snuggles herself into him.

Callum pulls her close, his face going to her hair, the comfort of Bens daughter slowly mending some of his broken walls. He offered to take her tonight, a break for Lola and Jay. Even though Ben is gone, Callum still sees Lexi regularly, ensuring she’s never left out and she often sleeps over.  _Even though daddy isn’t here anymore, that doesn’t mean I can’t spend time with you. You’re family_.  She had said one day as they settled down for some dinner, causing Callum’s heart to swell slightly. 

“It was okay Lex, how was yours darling?” 

“Pretty boring actually, school was the same old, I had a test today,” she wriggles on Callum’s lap as she tries to get comfortable, the unicorn Ben bought her a few christmases ago sitting under her arm. 

“What was your test on?” He replies, swiping a loose piece of hair out of her eyes and placing it behind her ear. 

“Maths, so boring.” She laughs, before trying to stifle a yawn but fails. 

“I think it’s bedtime little miss, don’t you?” 

“Will you lie with me?” Her question catches Callum off guard. Lexi normally goes to bed herself, so this was new but he smiles at her all the same, instructing her to go and brush her teeth and he would be in shortly to sit. 

Settling into her bed she watches as Callum crosses the room to lie beside her. 

“Callum?”

“Yeah?”

“You save so many people, you’re always there for everyone, but who’s there for you?” Lexi whispers and Callum is astonished, unsure how to answer. There’s no doubt that she is wise beyond her years. 

“You darling. You’re there for me. Always,” he replies quietly. 

“I miss him, I wasn’t ready to let him go,”

Callum feels his heart shatter, realising how much the little girl in his arms is hurting, missing a father who was taken from her before she was ready. “I miss him too sweetheart, so so much,” he says before pressing a barely there kiss to her forehead. 

The rest of the night is spent with Callum singing soft lullabies until Lexi slips into slumber, whispering to heaven to take care of her dad. Callum finds himself lying down in bed that night, flicking through photos on his phone, reminiscing on the days he’d chastise Ben for wanting to take so many photos. Now they were all he had. Memories. Everything else might be changing in his life, but these. These memories will remain the same forever. 

With that thought Callum sleeps, peacefully for the first time since Bens death. He’s ready to confront Phil tomorrow, whether he does it officially or privately will depend on the new evidence. This thought keeps the nightmares away, and he dreams of a happier time with Ben, in another life where everything is good and nobody hurts. 


	2. Your rights

Feeling lonely can takes it’s toll on anyone, like you’re trapped with nowhere to go. The walls caving in around you and there’s nobody there to help you out of it. There’s no hand to hold, nobody there to pull you out and stop you from going under. Nobody. Silence. Sometimes you wonder if it was something you said. Something you did, or maybe you’re just not good enough for someone to stick around for. It places you into a deep depression and there’s no way you could ever escape. You feel nothing, like it’s a weight that’s weighing down so heavy on your chest you wouldn’t even mind if it crushed you completely. Sometimes the depression creeps up on you quietly, and before long you feel sad with no explanation, you cry silently and nobody notices because on the outside you’ve put on a brave front, forcing that smile onto your lips and telling yourself  I’m fine  even when you’re not. Sometimes you lie awake at night wondering if you did something wrong, or sometimes you shower in water so hot it scolds you, anything to take away the pain, hoping it will wash down the drain. You rock yourself back and forth, staring into space, the devil on your shoulder where the angel used to be, whispering words of discouragement.  _ You’re not enough. You’re irrelevant. Nobody loves you.  _

—

_ ‘I love you.’ _

_ ‘How can you? I’m not the same person that you fell in love with.’ Ben shouts, before turning slowly and walking away.  _

_ ‘Ben?’ Callum shouts, wanting to run after him, but his feet don’t move. _

_ ‘This is what it’s came to Mitchell, you’re gonna sit there and watch your poor, gay, deaf son die, and it’s all gonna be on you.’ Danny’s face is painfully close to Bens, gun pointed directly, a smirk forming on his lips. He laughs at the terror in that hide behind the blue of Ben Mitchells eyes, before squeezing the trigger. Bang!’  _

Callum shoots up, sweat drenching his body, his breathing rapid and heavy. He feels scared, like a lost child. He’s stands slowly, heaving towards the sink, set on splashing his face with some cold water. He doesn’t get far though before feeling his hands shake, trembles reaching up to his neck, and he feels lightheaded. His feet unsure whether it can hold his weight. Heart pounding in his chest  _ thump thump thump _ , he takes deep breaths, trying to restore calm but his vision goes kaleidoscope. 

_ Am I dying?  _

He slides down the wall slowly, his body no longer able to hold itself upright. He can’t breath. Can’t move and suddenly he feels hot tears soak his face. 

“Callum?” Lexis’s soft voice breaks through the noise and causes Callum to lift his head. 

“Lex, did I wake you?” She shakes her head and offers him a smile, showing all her pearly whites. 

Callum feels himself slowly start to calm down, his breathing decreasing to normality. He opens his arms, allowing her to walk into them and wrap her arms around his shoulders, his own arms circling the little girl and holding her close. 

“Are you okay? Why are you crying?” 

Callum thinks about her question.  _ I miss your daddy, and I don’t think I’ll ever be alright with that.  _ “I’m fine darling, nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about. How about we get you some breakfast and then I’ll take you to school?” 

The morning is spent encouraging Lexi to eat her toast, which proves quite the challenge when she becomes distracted by her tablet, but eventually they’re heading off and Callum is waving her goodbye as she heads into the school with a ‘goodbye Cal, love you,’ causing his heart to swell. 

He reaches work slightly later than normal, but nobody pays him much attention, too busy engrossed in their own investigations and evidence to notice. 

“Callum?” Amy pops her head round the door, a smile on her face. “We’ve got two interviews to do today.”

Callum looks at her, “who are they?”

“Phil Mitchell and Danny Hardcastle.” 

His stare goes cold, and he feels the hatred boiling up his throat. He’s been waiting for nearly a year to interview Danny, but there was never any more evidence to link him to the crime. 

“The evidence came back?” 

“Yes,” she nods, “and his prints are on the gun. We are just waiting for the lab to confirm a match with the bullet found in Ben.”

Callum winces slightly at her reminder of Ben’s death and she clears her throat before muttering a ‘sorry’ quickly. 

“What times the interviews?”

“Danny is in just now, and we haven’t had a chance to bring Phil in yet, perhaps we could do it after this?” She looks hopeful, knowing how much it would mean to her coworker to be the one to bring in Phil Mitchell. 

“Yes, let’s go and interview this bastard.” 

-

“Alright chicken?” Danny’s thick scouse accent sends spikes of hatred through Callum as he takes a seat directly in front of him. “I’d ask how that boyfriend of yours is doing, but we all know he ain’t here don’t we?” 

Callum falters, wanting to do nothing more than punching him in the face, but he refrains, showing no emotion. 

“Mr Hardcastle,” Amy says, authority carrying throughout her sentence, “Youre a hard man to obtain, but not hard enough. Do you fancy telling us where you were on June 1st 2020 between five and one?”

Danny regards them slowly, as though trying to read them but both Callum and Amy remain blank. 

“I already told you, I was with my wife.”

Pushing the zipped evidence bag forward, she asks, “So, can you tell us how these managed to get to the warehouse, and have your fingerprints all over them, plus data on the phone being traced to your home address?” Amy seems pleased with her question as she watches Danny’s smile falter, the realisation that he’s been caught out. 

“I don’t know love, and frankly I don’t care. The guys dead and good riddance.” 

Callum slams his hand against the table, a stark warning. “Speak of him like that again. You’re gonna be going down for a very, long time and I’m going to enjoy every second knowing it,” he spits venomously before standing and leaving the room. 

“Don’t go too far Mr Hardcastle. Interview suspended at eleven forty three am.” 

Callum can feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he goes for his daily evening jog, being a police officer he feels he needs to keep himself in good shape. His feet pound on the floor as he tries to get the thoughts from his mind. The interview with Phil brought up nothing, the balding man still adamant he didn’t see who had shot his son. He’d stated it was better to let it go as they probably wouldn’t get anywhere with it. He wasn’t told of the new evidence, the officers not feeling the need to release this. 

Callum watches from the square as Sharon heads out, planting a light kiss to her husbands lips before pushing the pram away from the worn down fence and heading in the direction of the Vic. He notes the smug expression held by the Mitchell man, no worries clouding his mind. Callum feels the anger rise at this and before his brain can register with his body, he’s banging on the door of Phil Mitchell’s home and coming face to face with the enemy. 

“Callum,” Phil sighs, a bored look on his face. 

“Phil,” says Callum, chest rising from the excursion of his run. 

“What do you want? I told your lot everything I know down at the station.”

“That’s just the thing though isn’t it Phil, you didn’t tell us everything. You lied through your god damn teeth and for what? To protect Danny Hardcastle? What’s he got on you hm? What does he have that could be more important than getting justice for your son!?”

Phil looks shocked, having never seen this side to Callum before. He’s normally calm and collected. “Nothing, he ain’t got nothing.”

“So why?”

“Why what? Bens dead and that’s all there is to it.”

“Because of you!! He’s dead because of you?!” Callum exclaims, the anger bubbling like a volcano that’s soon to erupt. 

“I didn’t kill him.”

“You didn’t pull that trigger, no, but you may as well have before once again he was doing a job for you! He wanted to impress you! That’s all Ben ever did, was fight for your love.”

“Callum,” Phil try’s to intervene. 

“Just shut up. I ain’t done. You click your fingers and he’d come running like a lost little puppy, because he was so scared. Scared you’d disown him, or that he wouldn’t be good enough. He spent his whole life trying to prove he was worthy of the great Phil Mitchells love and for what? To end up dead!! This is on you!!” His voice raises as he finishes his sentence. 

“Look, Ben is gone and you need to move on with your life instead of pining over him.” Phil says, expecting to end the conversation there, but it doesn’t, instead all it gets is a fist flying towards him. 

Callum punches him, the force of it knocking Phil off balance and he stumbles into the table behind him, holding his face and touching blood. 

“YOU NEVER SPEAK OF HIM AGAIN!! You were never worthy of his love. You were never there when he needed you. Who was there when he lost his hearing? Me,” Callum jabs at his own chest to emphasise his points, “who was there the times he was scared it would never return or when he’d have nightmares? Me. I was there because I loved him, and he loved me right back and he didn’t ever have to fight for that love. He never fought, because it was there. Unlike with you. You’re pathetic and I feel sorry for you. You’ll never be worthy to hold the title dad and you never utter his name again. Do you hear me?”

Phil looks at Callum, before nodding his head. 

“You don’t wake every night with nightmares of so many scenarios playing round in your head of how he died, how he was so alone.”

Callum breathes slowly. 

“I will get justice, and if it brings you down then so be it.” With that Callum walks out, slamming the door for affect before breathing in the air of the night. 

The next morning Jack pops his head through the door with papers that bring a smile to his face for the first time in days. 

“You with me?” He asks Amy, not waiting for her reply before heading off, leaving her to run what feels a mile trying to catch up with his long excited strides. 

“Where we off to?” 

“You’ll see,” Callum replies, a smile playing on his lips once more. 

They reach their destination and it isn’t long before Amy pieces together what they’re doing

Danny Hardcastle stands in the middle of the square, a look of accomplishment on his face, before it’s wiped away when he sees the officers heading his way. 

“What can I help yous with today?” The smugness held in his voice causes Callum to smirk. He watches as Phil crosses the square, spotting them and stopping to watch their exchange. 

“Danny Hardcastle, I’m arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Ben Mitchell. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.


	3. Justice Served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I did it baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the patience in this story, sorry it took so long I took some time out for personal reasons. Thank you to everyone who supported me throughout this one it was a hard one to write! I hope you like!

It was the day of the trial and Callum was trying his hardest to settle his nerves. He was off duty today, having ensured he put the request in weeks in advance to guarantee he got it off. It had been over five months since he had the satisfaction of arresting Danny Hardcastle for Ben’s murder. There was no evidence to suggest Phil’s involvement in the crime, but the way he avoids Callum’s eyes at every opportunity speaks for itself. 

He didn’t have the energy to continuously fight Phil, and regardless of what happened between them, Sharon would still check up on him every so often. 

The door rattles, snapping Callum from his thoughts as he fiddled with his tie. The same tie he’d offered Ben for his brother Dennis’ funeral. Sighing gently he pulls it from his neck and answers the door slightly. 

“Louise?” He’s surprised to see her, she had flown back to Portugal for only a few hours after her brothers funeral. 

“Hi,” she speaks softly, and it’s then that Callum noticed Peggy is with her, attached to a baby sling that wraps around her small frame. 

“Come in,” he replies, opening the door fully and allowing her to side step him and enter. She sits down gingerly on the sofa, careful not to wake her daughter. 

“When did you get back?”

“This morning, I wanted to be there for the trial.”

Callum nods at her reply, but struggles to find any other words to say, he didn’t expect to be sitting with his dead boyfriends sister. 

“I haven’t seen my dad yet, I’m not sure I even want to,” she speaks softly, and it’s only then Callum notices how tired she looks. 

“You look exhausted.” The words slip before he has a chance to stop himself.

She laughs, only to be met by the high pitched crying of Peggy. “Oh no, it took me ages to get her settled. She’s just not sleeping, I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Callum looks at her before gesturing to Peggy “May I?” The question throws Louise off guard before she nods quickly, undoing the straps that hold her daughter in place and gently handing her over into Callum’s outstretched arms.

Callum looks at her, noting immediately the Mitchell resemblance within her features. She bares many similarities to those of her late uncle, and it causes Callum to become emotional. He can feel his throat tightening and the lower lids of his eyes gathering water.

“She’s so beautiful, and so much like Ben,” his voice is barely a whisper, yet it echoes loudly against the small walls. “He deserved to see her grow, be the amazing uncle he would have been.”

“He’d have slipped her money like there was no tomorrow if he spoiled her anything like he did with Lexi,” Louise laughs.

“He deserved better than this Lou,” Callum says, and it’s only then do they both notice that Peggy has stopped crying. 

“How do you do that? Hold anyone and they just stop crying?”

Callum laughs. “I wish it worked on holding myself.”

Louise regards him with sad eyes, her heart breaking at the hurt she can see written across Callum’s face. The pain that has etched its way onto his features and resides permanently.

“Can I sit with you in court?” Louise asks.

“Of course, but don’t you want to sit with your dad?”

She gives Callum a look of disgust, before rolling her eyes, a telltale sign of her relation to Ben. “I don’t want to be anywhere near him. He is the reason my brother is gone and I’ll never forgive him for that. If he hadn’t have roped Ben into all of his dodgy deals, he’d have been here today.”

Callum nods before checking his watch, Bens watch that he gave him as a birthday present when he lost his hearing. It was half one, which meant they had an hour to go until the trail.

“We should go, what are you doing with little lady?” Callum asks, standing up and holding a now sleeping Peggy out to Louise.

“Karen is going to take her, I promised I’d let them get to know her and it seems only right this is the time they do.”

Callum nods, smiling softly before putting the tie back onto his neck and tying it in place before grabbing his coat and heading out, Louise in tow. He waits patiently for her as she fusses with Peggy, and he can see the internal battle within herself as she hands her daughter over to someone for the first time since her birth. 

“Go, we will be fine, won’t we poppet?” Karen says, reassuring her before cuddling her granddaughter close. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise. You go get that justice,” she says speaking to both of them. 

—-

The wind outside the courthouse is cold, nipping at the skin on their nose harshly, causing it to go red. Callum looks around, spotting Kathy, Jay and Lola standing outside waiting for them. He suddenly feels his stomach begin to do somersaults, nerves kicking in and his mind playing numerous scenarios.  _ What will happen if he’s found not guilty? Will Danny and his men go after him? What if he is found guilty? Will he still go after him? _

“Callum?” Kathys arm rests gently on his arm, drawing his attention away. “It’s time to go in.”

Callum nods before gesturing for her to lead the way, following behind her when she does. 

—-

The trial is nearing an end as they wait patiently for the verdict from the Jury, having heard all the evidence. The gun matched the bullet found in Ben and it took everything within Callum’s power to prevent himself from throwing up as the pictures were shared. They had managed to secure cctv footage, which showed Ben cowering in fear, his once bright blues a dull grey, crowed by fear, a video Callum wishes to never see again. 

The documents himself and Amy found were for the getaway vehicle, all registered to Danny Hardcastle.

“All rise,” they’re told as the Judge arrives back into the room, along with the jurors.

“Have you reached a verdict?” He asks.

“We have, your Honor.”

“What do you say?” He questions, looking directly.

Callum feels the thumping of his heart, trying its hardest to break free from the chains of his rib cage.

“We the jury, in the case of Walford Police Station versus Daniel Hardcastle find the defendant guilty of the charge of murder in the first degree.”

The courtroom erupts into cries of ecstasy, and Callum is unable to contain his emotions, allowing the tears to fall freely. He feels relief, but the never ending feeling of loss and sadness. He got justice for Ben, but it would never bring him back.

“Given the evidence and the guilty verdict, I feel it is appropriate to pass sentencing now. Daniel Hardcastle, I herby sentence you to life imprisonment, with a minimum sentence of forty years. You will have no possibility of parole. Take him down. Court adjourned.” 

—-

Callum walks slowly, the flowers heavy in his hand as he stops infront of his destination. 

_ Ben Mitchell  _

_ 23/03/1996 - 01/06/2020  _

_ Much loved father, brother and boyfriend _

  
Callum clears the rubbish, wiping the black sandstone and gold lettering down with a damp cloth before adding the flowers. Light blue to match his eyes. He sits down cross legged, his fingers picking at the grass.

“Hey you, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get here, I’ve been so busy with work and everything but I guess that’s not an excuse is it really? I got a tattoo! My first ever one,” Callum exclaims, turning his head slightly as though Ben could see the small ‘B’ written cursively behind his ear. “I got it for you, I know you’d say it was silly and that I’d regret like you did yours, but I never could. I did it baby, I got you your justice. He’s never going to hurt anyone else the way he hurt you. God I miss you so much Ben, why does life have to be so cruel?” 

He pulls at the grass, frustrated. 

“Why can’t you be here with me? We could be getting married, planning our future and instead I’m talking to you whilst you lay six feet under. Why did you have to take that job Ben? Phil was never worthy of your love and you didn’t deserve to die trying to get it.” 

Callum sighs, feeling the tears on his lips as they slide down. 

“Lexi is doing good in school, she stays with me most nights, always steals something of yours to sleep with so she feels close. I guess I’m not different. I sleep with your burgundy hoodie, you remember the one don’t you? It still smells so much of you Ben.”

A loud clap of thunder rumbles overhead, the clouds a mixture of greys, some light, some dark but the darkest one hangs over Callum and it isn’t long before he feels the drips of rain against the bare skin on his face. 

“We always wanted to dance in the rain,” he smiles before the heavens above open and a downpour ensues, soaking Callum right through within minutes. “Always were one for theatrics weren’t you? Watching too many musicals I think. I love you more than you’ll ever know possible and my heart will always belong to you. I’ll visit soon baby, I promise.” He stands and leans down before gently placing a kiss upon the top of the headstone, allowing his fingers to slide over it gently before he walks away, the rain lashing down upon him. 

He isn’t sure where he’s going, but he walks for hours, his heart hurting but settled. Callum had set out to get justice for Ben and he did just that and knowing Danny would die in prison brought a sense of comfort to him. For once he felt like he could live again, the memory of Ben living within his soul, etched on his heart forever. 

Even after the worst of storms, the sun always finds its way through and for Callum, the sun was Ben, shining down from above, basking him in all the warmth he needed to let him know he was there and he was loved as equally, and for Callum, that was enough. 


End file.
